fatty. no good for you.


Reality Sets In

This was August 29, 2011.  307.2 pounds.  I ate Sparta, and then some.

Less than one week after my divorce, a friend tried to get me on the right track by challenging me to a weight loss contest.  The goal was to see who could lose 10 pounds the fastest.

If I were to win, she'd send me some criminally sexy pictures of herself.  If she were to win, I'd fill her Starbucks Rewards card with $25.00.

Since I am me, a thirty-something white male stuck in arrested development, and there were tits on the line, I started myself on a powerful weight loss supplement that I'll leave unnamed.  For the days that followed, I ate next to nothing, and I felt like I was just asking for a heart attack.

Less than 48 hours later, I was down 5.4 pounds.  While the trend didn't quite hold up, about a week later, my friend sent me some of the most spankworthy images the Internet will never see.  I hit the 10 pound mark, and had a jump start to what I hoped would be an aggressive weight loss to get me ready for 2012.

It didn't.

I promptly plateaued, hanging in the 290 pound range despite a major surgery which limited my food intake.  The beginning of 2012 would roll around, and I sneaked into the high 280s.  It's Saturday, January 7, 2012.  I'm at 287.0.  My target weight, taken from a wealth of different calculators, and given consideration based on how much nonsense it spouted, is going to be 170.  That's 117 pounds from where I'm at now - which was close to the target weight of the aforementioned hottie.

I'm not putting a time frame on this weight loss goal.  That may seem counter-intuitive, as most goals should have a timetable of sorts.  However, as important as the weight loss is, the lifestyle is equally important.  I need to eat, I need to drink, and I need to get laid - all of these things as often as having a weight loss goal will tolerate.

Until I reach that goal, I am fatty.

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  1. You’re lucky to have a friend that will go above and beyond the call of duty to help you reach your goal! Keep a chart of your progress, I didn’t chart my progress and now I really regret it.

    • The progress link here tracks weight: http://fatty.vuxe.com/progress/

      I should probably enhance the table with weight lost, weight still to lose, and percent of goal. It might serve as further encouragement.

      Not to mention my workouts should be tracked as well so I know what is working.

      Thanks paras!

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