fatty. no good for you.


“One likes to believe in the freedom of music…”

The above quote is from a Rush song that's roughly the same age as myself called "The Spirit of Radio".

A Google search of "define:radio" yielded this definition:

"The transmission and reception of electromagnetic waves of radio frequency, esp. those carrying sound messages."

Radio, like telephone, is a different beast than it was 30 years ago. They're full-blown mediums that outgrew their dictionary definitions in favor of expansive functionality their inventors could never have imagined. I'm sure Alexander Graham Bell would have pissed in your face if you suggested to him that we'd be using a portable version of his hard-wired telephone to play "Words with Friends" and download videos of people pissing in the faces of others.

There's a reason I'm getting into this, I swear.

I'm using one of those Internet radio applications on my phone in conjunction with my workouts. Watching TV isn't enough of an escape, so I had to turn to music. It's made an amazing difference. I've selected roughly 200 bands, the worst of which only suck a little bit. The massive list of songs this includes is just overwhelming.

Many of you have a workout playlist of some kind. Playlists are predictable, however - and when you know you're going to hear Beyoncé's latest single, "Setting Women and Blacks Back 250 Years", it can only excite you so much. That's not entirely fair, I haven't heard the song. It might work for you.

I was at the 35 minute mark of my moderate treadmill power-walk, when "That's When I Reach for My Revolver" by Mission of Burma (sample: here) came on my Internet radio station. This song is so raw, so angry, so passionate, and so fucking sexy it makes The Clash look like the Spice Girls and The Ramones sound like Hanson. The Stooges get to remain The Stooges because they were just as awesome.

The song hit a pleasure center in my brain that I hadn't felt in years. The coupled adrenaline surge kept me going through what I expected to be my cooldown time.  Instead, I increased the incline and speed of the treadmill.  I felt like doing OK Go-type treadmill dances, jumping, handstands.  Alas, I have but one treadmill, so going faster was my only real option.

The awesome continued - Shudder to Think, "X-French Tee Shirt", Death From Above 1979, "Romantic Rights", Crystal Method, "Keep Hope Alive". In fact, I finished an hour on the treadmill by nearly tripping over myself. The treadmill came to an abrupt halt at the 60 minute mark that I didn't anticipate. And how could I? My previous best time on a treadmill, ever, topped out 42 minutes.

Simply, music is a force much more powerful than the mediums used to transmit it. It's powerful enough to keep a 285 pound man in motion when he needs water, a sweater, and a blowjob. It's powerful enough to make thousands of French people try to sing along to a keyboard track every time The Cure plays there. It's also proven more powerful than the temptation to tolerate myself as-is and live a life of sloth and pizza.

The Crystal Method sampled from a Jesse Jackson speech to provide the vocal elements of the track, "Keep Hope Alive". Cut and pasted, they deliver the simple but powerful message: "let us not forget - there is hope."

Weight: 285.1

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  1. Spot on, my good friend.

    Music is life itself when it comes down to it. Just me, the gym, and sweating my tits off so bad that not even Rosie O’Donnell could make a joke out of it.

    Yet the choice of music is extremely diverse. On one song, I could be completely in the zone, running my ass off (and singing loudly along to) the definitive sounds of the God himself – Jimi Hendrix. The next tune may have me bouncing along to deadmau5, starting a mini rave all of my own. From Psychedelic Rock through Prog Rock through Techno all the way through to Classical such as Moonlight Sonata. Music is physical and mental. It’s life giving air. It breathes a different type of self-worth into you. A familiarality we can only otherwise experience with well loved family members or friends.

    I’m really enjoying this blog dude. And well done so far.

    • Mmm….tits.

      I should research how different musical genres can trigger responses in the brain. There’s got to be data out there. It could be a playlist that diverse could be get your brain firing on all cylinders and engage you so firmly that you can do anything you choose.

      I almost failed to reach 45 minutes on the treadmill just yesterday, but at roughly 35 minutes, The Stooges “Search and Destroy” came on. I could hardly stay upright, but I fought through it.

      I’m aiming for 20 minutes on the elliptical today. Keep your fingers crossed.

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