fatty. no good for you.

About fatty.

My name is Michael, and I am a fatty.

I could tell you I'm overweight, that I'm out of shape, or that I need to lose a few pounds, but that would send the wrong message entirely.  By telling you I'm a fatty, I'm telling you:

  • It's not a weight problem, it's an lifestyle: Until recently, I was doing nothing to help myself along.  I enjoyed 16" pizzas and short walks to the john.  I have a treadmill, an elliptical machine, and something that was sold to me as an "Olympic weight set".  They collected dust the way I collect calories.
  • It's an identity, and it sucks: I'm a white guy in the United States, meaning a substantially overweight gentleman is not an uncommon occurrence.  We're fairly well tolerated, and entitled to our lifestyles here.  Not to mention there's a dearth of good fat jokes lately.  That said, until there's an affirmative action that mandates blow jobs for fat people, I have to find a way to be attractive to the opposite sex (my preference) or pay for the pleasure through outlets like Craigslist or backpage.com.
  • I manage to keep a sense of humor about it: And maybe that's part of the problem.  If I can find humor in it, I can embrace it.  That said, when I reach 170 pounds, I'm still going to have all the collected stories from when I was fat.  For an alternate source of humor, there will always be the Republican party.
  • I hate it enough to do something about it: Keeping a blog is going to force me to confront the lifestyle, the identity, and hold me to progress.

I'm in my early 30s.  I both suffer from and enjoy ADHD.  I was divorced in August of 2011.  I'm mostly sure that if I want sex, it's going to cost me.  I drink, but not as much as I should.  I've done lots of drugs, but it's been a while, and I'm certainly not an addict.  This is not my online dating profile.

So, what should you expect?  Sad and pathetic stories touched with my dark humor, progress in the lack of self-efficacy, and a man whose love of women alternates between admiring the strength and resolve of those repressed by a society that embraces irresponsible body images and wants to pay them less, to "YAY, BOOBIES."

I'm doing it for me, but if you enjoy it, I'd love to hear it.  Thank you for your consideration.

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